these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
The one night I bring a girl home you leave the footloose soundtrack playing.
That's ok. I found a crab leg in my bed and have no pants on.
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
So many lesbians keep hitting on me. I'm about to give up and just go home with the manliest one.
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
All right cuz right now I'm in one of those moods where the shear thought of doing anything more strenuous than making a sandwich has me wanting to curl up in the feeble position and splash around in a puddle of my own tears.
Go forth my friend, but don't do any of that fruitful and multiplying shit.
You had me at "let me see your balls"
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
Pretty sure we had a civil war reenactment in your kitchen at 4am.
That would explain the cannon.
I let a drunk straight girl spank me with a metal paddle at the bar tonight. Remind me to never do that again.
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
Southwest doesn't have zingzang bloody Mary mix. I'm gonna file a complaint with the FAA
Randomize
