it is 7:54 and i am surrounded by drunk old people. drunk enough that my grandmother and her friend just compared boobs. as in, shirts off, bras coming down. save me.
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
I didn't know he had a girlfriend until after we had sex when he said, "Man I really gotta stop cheating on my girlfriend."
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
my parents have to start far too many of our conversations with the sentence "this is an observation, not a judgment" than I'm proud of
I just woke up naked next to a GetGo sandwich and I can hear my cats are eating my combos. So that's my life.
And I made some girl take out the trash, load and unload the dishwasher, swifter, and clean the counters. So don't act like I don't do anything.
In another note. Thanks for making me get a vibrator. For real.
Can you bring me some underwear? I feel uncomfortable going underwear less at a Remembrance Day ceremony.
I think the pizza delivery guy is getting a handjob next door.
My husband gave me a key to his house. I thinks this means we're getting kinda serious.
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
Randomize
