but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
I like how washing the beer bong is now a regular part of washing the dishes.
how bad would it be if i made his twitter my home page?
i cant text you anymore tonight, God gave me two hands for two cups
Her gay brother kept hitting on me and cockblocking me. Don't even begin to tell me how bad your night was.
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
Yeah we call her cincohandjabos because she gave 5 guys handjobs one night in 5th grade
She came so hard that after she finished, she started a slow clap and then told me she pulled a muscle.
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
After I asked for my 6th Gin & Tonic, the look on the flight attendant's face started to make me feel bad about myself.
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
Ok. Yes. He has a tiny penis. But he also has a trust fund.
Not only is he funny, he had a REALLY big dick
He's old enough to be your father!
REALLY. BIG. DICK.
Randomize
