Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover.
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
I DONT WANT TO PLUS I THINK I FLUSHED MY KEYS DOWN THE TOILET WHILE I WAS PEEING
I pretty much have hash tequila and gelato for dinner every night
Just FYI, I'm breaking up with my boyfriend tonight and you need to be on call to be my first rebound bang
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
my mom called me mid shot and i accidentally answered and kept calling her my own name. somehow i thought that would help the situation.
You will never be paid again to get drunk and tell off cops without being arrested. Once in a lifetime opportunity
You're right. Fuck my job. I'm in.
I just traded 5 cigarettes for a sandwich on they greyhound.You owe me 5 cigarettes. I told you I would get hungry.
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
I feel like I have a very capable uterus.
Then you guys just all showered together...?
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
Randomize
