it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
he quoted the bible to break up with me
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
I feel like I just tasted lung cancer.
Uh no. you let me handle it. trust me: I can paint the Mona Lisa in tints of bitch.
Had to go see my sisters new baby this morn in the clothes I wore to the rave last night. Still drunk. Almost dropped it. I'll be a good aunt right?
I had to get my boss birth control a work today. I knew going to ASU would come in handy in my career someday.
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
IDK MAYBE BC I WOKE UP IN AN AIRPORT WITH A ONE WAY TICKET TO LONDON
My move is emasculating men with my superior intellect and it's not as charming when they can't see my huge rack.
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
OF COURSE I FUCKED HIM! Did you not read the part about him having red and green Christmas condoms?
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