I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
dinner with the girl I motorboated last semester wasn't as awkward as I thought it would be
Nothing ruins a good sext like too many emoticons
we literally hit three floors of our apartment building searching for condoms. also got macaroni.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
Dude, you were so wasted she couldn't wait. She was grinding your face while you were passed out in the yard.
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
Dude, you vomitted into a trashcan wearing your bear hands and high heels. Your drug dealer even said that was rough.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I warned you. Don't come crying to me when your vagina refuses to forgive you for this.
i rearranged my furniture so i could masturbate in the sun. how's that for spring cleaning?
VAL. THIS MOTHERFUCKER IS LAYING IN MY BED WEARING A CAT SHIRT, VAL. COME SAVE ME, VAL.
We can't shop at Hobby Lobby anymore. They don't like Plan B which basically runs through our veins.
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
Write this down so you can tell me in the morning. "That bartender needs to be in my mouth."
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