Remember that night when i almost got you arrested? Is that funny yet?
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
Any idea who the guy in my bed tagged as rattlesnake dick might be?
Dont forget about the tuna sandwich behind your TV
Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
puking in a sink with a garbage disposal Fucking. Rules. It's like you're punishing your puke when you're done.
They should make a traveling bouncer service to remove unwanted people from your house without getting the cops involved. That sums up my Friday.
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
I'm too socially awkward and sexually frustrated to get through this evening sober.
Dude, we got to the strip club as they were closing, and you starting crying because, and I quote, "This is the closest to birthday sex I'm gonna get."
Just asphyxiate me and toss my corpse in the Ocean. It'll be easier than whatever the next four or eight years will bring.
I know we agreed to cock block each other from now on buttt I WANT this one. I have felt his penis, it is godly, and I am going to have it inside of me, so shut the fuck up and leave.
Randomize
