Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
I just found 17 dollars of saltine crackers in my room. confused incredibly. suprised not at all.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I know we had a good night last night because his turtle was half asleep chewing on the used condom.
Once you realized you couldn't finish the 30 you started walking down the street and leaving a beer in everyone's mailbox
Just mixed my liver cleanse with Bacardi. Best. Thing. Ever.
He just got home drunk. He ate 5 snack cakes, said Little Debbie's his bitch, went upstairs and fell asleep.
Just found a bottle of tequila in the washer.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My phone saved "first signs of pregnancy" as a most visited search.
I've never felt more disgusting in my life. And I'm including the time I snuggled that homeless woman in the puddle of my whiskey vomit.
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
I still can't believe that dog licked my nipple.
I refuse to believe you if you're trying to tell me humanity as a whole isn't sad, tired, and craving Chinese food.
But what we lack in money, we make up for in dry humor and drugs
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