Apparently he's never heard a queef, he totally thought I farted and got freaked out.
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
the only compliment i could think of for this chick was that she looked 'moderately attractive'
just stole 2 cases of forties from some freshman in the woods by pretending to be a cop. that ten dollar spotlight is really turning a profit
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can always tell I missed tequila night based on the hickeys on your neck man. Fucking call me.
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
Okay, tomorrow we'll have a day of life-sorting and plasma-selling.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After an hour of searching for my pants, we had three people looking. They were finally found in the oven.
I tried to text you about going to the Lion's Den but sent it to my boss. She was down for it. Please advise.
Vodka for breakfast. With a side of Frankenberries. Don't judge me.
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
You handed me your heels and said, "barefoot running is all the rage." Then you proceeded to run home.
Family acid trip. They're welcoming me into the family.
What. The. Fuck.
Family acid trip.
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