Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
shit I'm tired of wearing other peoples clothes to bed
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
going to the gym drunk. fuck whoever made basketball season and getting a spring break ready body in the same season.
Halfway through banging her I realized that she was playing a sex playlist on her iPod...first time actually having sex to R.Kelly's "bump and grind"
I should hang a sign above my bed that says "get hard or go home."
At this point do you think buying mom a pot plant would be funny or highly inappropriate?
Yes I have a handle on life. A handle of Svedka.
Can vaginas get frostbite?
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
I just realized, I'm going to be on my period for the end of the world. FUCK.
We both fell asleep mid-handjob and he continued to call it "handjob halftime".
Oh goddamn. That a super downer Tuesday reality right there. Just hit me with the cold, hard, nasty facts.
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
Randomize
