I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
Just woke up in bed, AC on high, with a fresh pack of smokes, an unopened pint of vodka, and a bag w a beef patty w cheese in it. I think my roommate's like the toothfairy or something. Or that was way more Xanax than I needed.
Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
Do you think I could put your penis on reserve for tonight or tomorrow night?
I never thought your mom would see me throwing up on my hands and knees in your front yard
The last thing I remembered was laying in the bathtub fully clothed with the shower running while he was picking grilled cheese out of my hair. I couldn't figure out if i was more upset about being soaking wet or the fact that my grilled cheese was in my hair instead of my mouth.
you know I love you but I need to see your friends tits
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
Drinks appeared in front of me. Who am I to deny destiny? And by destiny, I mean free drinks, which appear by magic.
He won't let me go to the bars unless I can manage to get flip flops on.
Sounds like he's doing this for your own good...
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
i just read a article called "Booze, Drugs, and Bipolar Disorder"... i think someone is writing the memoirs of my life
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