So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
Practice the "sorry I may have given you herpes" conversation with me before I call him and break the news
apparently i told her i wouldn't press charges if she brought me food.
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
There is nothing scarier than watching yourself breathe in the mirror while on shrooms.
We somehow managed to get the sumo-wrestler costume into the washing machine, but I don't think the cupcake icing completely came off... And it still smells like tequila.
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
All I want is tacobeell and your body
that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.
I think he just caught a duck in mid flight
VOOOODKA VOOODKA WE PLEDGE OUR LOVE TO THEEEE VODKAAAA VODKAAAA SAVIOR OF LIBERTYYYY
What happened to fro yo and sex?
Well, he asked what my sign was, then proceeded to critique me on my beer pong stance... I really need to raise my standards.
Yo. What's your name again? You put "don't tell your landlord" as your name lol
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
No no no, I want to share him with you. Think of it as me sharing a piece of delicious pie with you. He was THAT GOOD.
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