Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
I know we had a good night last night because his turtle was half asleep chewing on the used condom.
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
I wanted to take a shower but I forgot we made applesauce in it last night.
remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
When you hit the 45 minute mark of any argument about The Flintstones, you have to realize: it's no longer you arguing, it's the cocaine arguing.
Im drunk on a hayride surrounded by toddlers. they are judging me.
I asked this couple what they would like to drink and they leaned toward me eagerly and asked if we still have THE root beer ... Idk if this is code for please add cocaine to my drink
That moment half way through a run when you realize you have to take a giant shit. I was racing against my bowels that last mile. Now my sweat is suctioning my ass to this toilet seat. Enjoy that NSA.
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
I woke up to a bum peeing outside my window, and he said, "This is embarrassing for you."
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