Remember that time I came into your room after taking a muscle relaxant and we argued about what state has the longest coastline?
Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
I GOT EATEN OUT IN A MERCEDES ON A TUESDAY NIGHT. I EARNED THIS SHIT.
Sometimes when i'm at a cross roads in life, i think about what i would want my lifetime movie to show what i did
He kept buying me shots of tequila. I decided to just save myself the half hour of toilet hugging and tell him straight up that I intended on sleeping with him. We got Tacos on the way home with all the money we saved.
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
I hate that he uses me for something other than sex. What does he think I am? His girlfriend? Ha.
Been trying to fuck him since december. Finally got him into bed and he was uncircumcised. Why do bad things happen to good people?
I got drunk and slept with the guy who looks like Jesus.
Typical.
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
He was licking my ear while recommending that I shop at IKEA. I think he's my perfect guy.
he broke off the kiss to ask "can I grab your boob?" like props for asking for clear and concise consent but there HAS to be a sexier way to do it
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