I need a shot of tequila, and quick death
I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
She pulled a cheeseburger out of her purse. I have missed her so much.
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
under NO circumstances is it acceptable to fist pump to taylor swift
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
she walked out and i tried to get her to come back but i couldn't remember her name so i just whistled... future reference: that doesn't work
I got stoned in my snow covered car and pretended I was burried alive
Me and the guy at the liquor store are on a first name basis, college is all about networking.
hahaha every time i hear a motorcycle i think about that one time you almost died
Thanks for the flashbacks you prick.
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
Which one of you drunk assholes put a parental lock on my cable box last night? More importantly, what's the pin? I'm missing the UK game.
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
I'm going to ride your dick until it falls off. That horny.
I'm equal parts terrified and turned on. Come over.
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
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