I think scott just propositioned me for sex
Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
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No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
Who the hell poured a whole pouch of Capri Sun down my throat last night?
he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.
when was she peeing in the stairwell? why dont i remember this?
....because generally we only remember 40% of the night each, and have to fill eachother in. And that still leaves 20% that we will never know and its probably for the best
You called me to pick you up from the bar at 9:00. When we drove over the speed bumps you put your hands in the air and pretended you were on a roller coaster.
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My mom just gave me my fake back to buy her more wine.
She said, after pronouncing how sober she was, and I quote 'Take this bag, it's so heavy it's like 500 degrees! Wait, is it time to go? Can I run? I think I can run!' Then she ran away.
Props to the guy blatantly doing coke in the bathroom at the bar. Walked out of the stall with a credit card in hand, sniffing loudly and shouting "choo choo"
My rule for unemployment is that I can't smoke before noon.
I haven't gotten up before 1 though, so it hasn't really impacted me.
First thing I find in the car I just pick up from my grandpa? A discount card for the strip club down the road from his apartment. The force is still strong.
My bed smells like the plague
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