Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
I just accidentally handed the ticket lady a condom instead of the intended ticket. I am now the official whore of Harry Potter.
I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
We were all drunk for the whole flight. Steve doesn't even remember the cab ride to the airport. At 6am. Says he "blacked back in" at security.
I left after my shirt got dropped in the toilet thinking that there was absolutely no good that could happen the rest of the evening. I hear I was very wrong.
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
Just found my glass of wine on top of the litter box. Every argument ever is invalid.
I lose my morals, my dignity, and my selfie stick :(
Wow I really just sharted up in this Kroger
I was sleeping and woke up in the bathroom already puking like i slept walk. Perrrrrrfect.
What's that? Is there a bottle of Jack calling me? I think so...
Like sorry your dick won’t suck itself?
Randomize
