i just walked with a girl who was carrying a chair down the street. apparently she got mad at the bartender and took the bar stool when she left.
yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
I told him I don't date guys unless they play a musical instrument. So, he's here and he brought a kazoo.
Margaritas are 250 calories. Now measuring all food in margaritas
My autobiography is now tentatively titled "I'm Fucking the DJ, and Other Ways to Party for Cheap"
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
I threw up in the shower, slipped, and fell in it. Should I try and continue my day or just get back in bed?
I had to break up with him he didn't understand my priorities. I'm sorry but Saturday nights are for pot and Doctor Who. I'm not going to change who I am.
I fucked her wearing an American flag. Now here I am, awake, naked, and flag less. How do I report this to the police?
My dating life has become some fucked up hydra of dicks; you cut one off and two pop up in its place.
facebook is just a cold reminder of all the times other bitches won my hookups
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
Randomize
