Skipping work because i'm still too drunk from last night still. got home at midnight and passed out in front of my door for 2 hours bc i couldn't find my key
had to call my rooommate to let us in. Passed out in my dress and found the key on my hair tie-in my hair- just now.
She went to the bathroom before i broke up with her so i changed all 2500 of her songs on her computer to "I'm a cheating whore"
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
I just found a beer pong ball in my mail box. I think its a sign
i made sure i dropped the whole "im a yoga teacher" bomb which basically roofies a guys sense of judgement and guarantees he will sleep with me.
I'm drinking vodka out of a coffee pot. and i'm not even mad about it
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
Claiming territory at this party means signing a girls ass...I've got dibs on a blonde
I accidentally lit my hair on fire and we broke the bed. How was your night?
Nothing is creepier than a guy telling you "I was just thinking about you" in a men's bathroom when taking a shit
Champagne pong turned into an expensive and painful experience.
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
You know you're gay when you have to have your coworkers explain to you why your bracket is terrible
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
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