but the lizard people decide everything anyway
You were yelling at the cops across the street saying they were at the wrong party
Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
He said in a slur "I go so hard, even when I..." and cut himself off by projectile vomiting all over the ice luge.
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
OH MY GOD DO YOU REMEMBER WISHBONE? DO YOU REMEMBER THAT LITTLE BITCH? WHAT'S THE STORY WISHBONE
I don’t know what's weirder; the fact that I weigh more with an erection..or the fact that I actually weighed myself with an erection...
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
i ate a whole tub of butter with my hands last night. don't tell me about rock bottom
My liver and my bank account can't afford another all nighter. Help.
I built a fence. For the bunnies we're going to adopt. I'll fill you in when you get home.
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
In other news, I just threw up my burrito and am currently on all fours literally crawling back to my bed
I can't wait to shower all this regret off of me
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
Randomize
