I just jerked it to the same porn two nights in a row... and she says I have problems with commitment...
normally I beat off every night before I go to bed even though my little brother sleeps in the same room. So I was starting to last night, and he jumped out of bed and said "Fuck, Im not listening to this shit again" We havent talked since. fuck me
i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
Watermelon juice. Makes everything better. Gin. Wine. EVERYTHING.
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
So, just saw a lady hysterically sobbing in a Walmart at 3 AM. Someone's not having a happy mother's day.
Why was I lying under a truck last night?
there is a smiley face on my leg painted in blood
I'm pretty sure that's yours.
I lost all interest the day she banged that guy in the Amazon parking lot. That's a special kinda whore.
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
You were so fucked you introduced me to a pile of Laundry
I wondered why I slept in the front room
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