i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
Is it a little weird that I have a ridiculous urge to have sex while the theme song to the Pirates of the Carrbibbean blares in the background?
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
she just made me lysol my hands in order to touch her tits.
Someone told me that drinking would get me no where in life. Drinking has gotten me everywhere in life.
There are taser marks on me. Your face flashed before my eyes when i woke up and saw them.
Found a guy passed out on the coffee table with a thong duct taped from ear to ear.
In your defense, I really thought capturing that alligator would have been a lot more awesome and a lot less tragic.
RIP Mr Bojangles.
Don't let her tell you any different. She licked the balls of my hamster for that $100. It was a group bet. She won.
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
I think all the stress in my life right now can be directly correlated with never winning a game of Bop It as a child.
He sent me a dick pic, and it had smeared lipstick on it. So I sent him the pic of my tit with the hickey ring your brother gave me.
So Saturday night after 10 drinks I guess he tried to have sex with me and in the middle of it I asked "can you tell I'm faking it!?" and then I sat up and threw up in my hand. That's a sex Win in my books
Randomize
