I just woke up surrounded in unopened snacks
Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i love that he's uncircumcised. it makes handjobs so much easier. it's the lazy susan of penises.
What did you wear last night? Because I'm pretty sure there are atleast 4 Facebook statuses about your walk of shame.
I just hate that one day I'll have to tell our children how we met, makes me look like a gold digging whore
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
I love that you'd blow off your high school reunion to get shit faced in an aquarium with us
Um. We all know how I feel about sea life
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If there aren't any tits where you are, you're doing it wrong.
Death by dick. An honorable death. Put a picture of his dick in the photo collage at my funeral.
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
I'm too drunk to remember your name. I'm too drunk to recall where i'm currently at. And i'm too drunk to give a shit.
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
Never going back to jail again. Only time in my life I've ever had a wet dream about jerking it...
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