one word: firstdatebathroomanal
It wasn't long before I skipped the martini glass and went straight to drinking from the shaker.
we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
Said he made a playlist for taking a shit. only two songs on it are the Star Wars theme and "America, fuck yeah" set to repeat.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Worst bachelorette party. She got smashed and cried because she thinks she might have herpes from when she cheated on him. Not looking good for them.
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
level of my singleness - just ate a whole pizza topless in bed.
Dude. I only took a 20 out the ATM last night. How do I have 83 ones?
You stole from the strippers again. I wish I was ninja like you
It's called the eyeliner-blowjob correlation, read a science book bro
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm hungover as hell. I'm dying. I have no skin left on my knees
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
You're doing a terrible job of letting me hook up with girls vicariously through you.
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
Can we just get drunk and watch the Birdcage please I have no tolerance for straight men today
I specifically remember rubbing my eyes thinking I could definitely go blind and I really like came to terms with it I was like ok my other senses will develop this is fine
Randomize