i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
My favorite part about you getting arrested is having to explain the prosthetic leg in the front seat.
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
just when i thought we would make it home without incident he tried to walk a police dog
OH MY GOD DO YOU REMEMBER WISHBONE? DO YOU REMEMBER THAT LITTLE BITCH? WHAT'S THE STORY WISHBONE
Pants-less sunday? Also I'm high and independence day is making me cry
im coming over
My vagina is trying to run away to Boston without me.
I remember because you made a pirate noise when you came.
I can't find the remote or the Doritos. Someone call 911. S.O.S. I sent this in Braille.
Waking up with cheese all over my clothes and my vibrator in my pants is a sign we drank way too much tequila last night
She is carving a little coffin out of some wood for her hamster that died. I'm flying home tonight.
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
In honor of the new administration, I'm going to make it my goal this weekend to get some lesbian action. Fuck Donald Trump and fuck Mike Pence. I'm going to be a spiteful gay.
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
Who the abstract fuck do you think you are!?
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