Currently standing on top of my parents leather couch with no pants on playing helicoptor with my penis. You?
Her vagina turned into a vuvuzela. I didn't know it was a possible to have a wet nightmare.
i just burped and it tasted like condom. please tell me i wasn't lame and made that guy wear one for a bj last night.
Just got booked to do a bachelorette party for a polygamist wedding. And notice I only text you to rub things in your face and show you my life shits on yours. Daily.
she gave me a blowjob during our lunchbreak and expected me not to tell people
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
Apparently unused tampons can also double as things to bite down on during public sex to prevent screaming...
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
Hangover or death. Death. I'll have a slice of death please.
Was expecting a sext from Kristi and then my mom randomly sent me a pic of her ugly Xmas sweater. Worst. Buzzkill. Ever.
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
You shouldn't play strip poker when you're having a wet fart kind of day.
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
Randomize
