Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.
she sounds like chewbacca in bed
a cabby told me that vodka is the coors light of liquor, and then gave me his number
Do you remember calling yourself Captain Cockblock and openly giving out everyones sexual history? Because you did.
i got two bottles of merlot and sorrows to drown, you in??
We still on for coffee?
Cream and sugar. Deliver to planned parenthood in 45.
I was doing drugs in the men's room so my employee went in to the woman's for the same reason but left proof and got caught. Had to fire him cuz I bogarted his dope spot. Awesome.
Just so you know, your wedding is in the same place I gave my first bj.
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
The other day, he sent me a snapchat of his dick in the forest. He captioned it "nature nudes."
Okay, the good news, found Jared, all IDs accounted for, Jack is meeting us at yours with your requested the delivery. The bad news: Lost Alice, banned from Stages, possibly fucked my TA in the bathroom.
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
Randomize
