Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
I have the sudden urge to buy a Snuggie and wear it to the grocery store.
I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
pretend to be my girlfriend and sign me up for tool academy
the thing I didn't realize I would miss about college is that at home you can't just dismiss your sex bruises as drunk accidents
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
I don't even fuck like that, he just happened to be in the right place at the right drunk.
I'm gonna take a nap by the fireplace and pretend like I know what day it is.
You don't know reunion panic until you've exfoliated your butt cheeks.
Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
I'm only bisexual one week out of the month. Nothing like ovulation hormones to make the genders of my hookups seem completely irrelevant.
Dude...itll be a youre-still-a-dick-but-a-hot-one-angry-hate-evil-spite kinda fuck. This is acceptable.
im going to smoke a cigarette and reflect on my life choices
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
Randomize