I'll bet she douches with gravy.
I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends.
if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs...
I'm picking out a half way decent top so if I get arrested I'll have a respectable mug shot photo. Always be prepared.
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
after she pushed someone down the stairs to get more vodka we lost her for a while and found her on the pole in the garage pouring water on herself
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
I'm calling into work tomorrow for day drinking and kitten shopping. Totally legitimate.
High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
I fucking hate tequila. Tequila makes me hate pants.
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
So this is how i'm celebrating Easter? By eating chicken nuggets and masturbating all day. What a life.
I knew I wanted to marry her when we got in that bar fight and she full-nelsoned a guy while I worked his kidneys. I knew then we had to breed
I told him I hooked up with his best friend. And then he ate me out. I'm just THAT GOOD.
Randomize
