Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
i found you on the dancefloor with your cell phone to your ear saying that you didn't like the music they played at the club so you were going to listen to your own
You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
After the concert, I paid a cab to drive me around the city so I could shout "dc highfive!" at everyone who passed for an hour and a half.
When i say that im working late and also have a paper to write before 9am tomorrow all i want u to respond is saying that ur gunna come over and sexually distract me from my responsibilities. Not a fucking frowny face.
Sorry. Im on my way.
I'll hold a taco with my boobs for you
After giving a back rub to someone in the bathroom of the theater, he ripped an "employees must wash hands" sign off the wall to prove that he could and proceeded to hang it up in his house.
Holy shit, add "successfully got stoned secretly at a party where a cop was" to my list of accomplishments.
I will buy you batman underwear babe. I'll make sure you wear them every time we have to adult.
After you finished the $300 bottle of wine you just started crying about how if Mulder and Scully didn't invite you to join the x-files your life would be meaningless because you "love that weird shit"
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
I used your vibrator when you were out of town. Now I know why you always come out of your room smiling.
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
He saw my Halloween/ Costume closet and assumed I’m into cosplay. I’m going with it. What’s sexier, a cop or a nurse?
Randomize
