so, totally just picked up a pack of red bull, and some magnum condoms and the old woman at the register's tone went from "hi blah how are you" to "oh....how YOU DOIN'?" she knew what was up
Tell her to not eat the pizza she threw up on.
You probably havent been upstairs if you think that the microwave missing its door is bad
I just stepped on my own foot and apologized to my shoe... THAT high.
Dude, she uses Old Spice. It smelled like I was eating out my grandfather.
its a long story involving jim bean, an owl, and a knife
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
Beans, may the odds of a nip slip and drunken make out session be ever in your favor
He was Jesus for Halloween and I definitely got on my knees and gave him praise.
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
Awkward, walking to my bootycall's hotel room and run into my dad leaving his. Just nodded to each other and went on our ways
I would also like you to tell your human bio class that I successfully smoked out the flu. 103 degree when I woke up yesterday. 100degree after one bowl. 4 more bowls and 16 hours later all that's left is a cough
My penis definitely considers my Captain Cock costume a success
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