she looked like the bat from fern gully.
soo according to the calendar on my phone, I'm 5 minutes late to have sex with that guy from work. Apparently we planned this, I even set an alarm.
Best friends brother. Beat that.
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
Then he rubbed shampoo all over my arm and shouted, "Garnier FUCK THIS."
It could be worse. I was dumped by a guy in a kilt after he gave my shoes away on St. Patrick's Day.
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
Some old bald man is a 100,000 dollar Audi sports car just revved his engine at me and held out his phone at me trying to get my number. I hate the valley.
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
I mean, if you want to light yourself on fire for maximum accuracy, far be it from me to stop you
Gonna do a few lines then clean my room so I can feel like my life is somewhat in order.
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
Randomize
