My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
I need help removing her.
hey, what are you doing? my roommates are gone for the night... you should come over ;)
nah, i'm gonna grab some food
walked into a party last night, i saw 3 ex gfs standing in a circle talking to each other...that's the quickest u-turn i've ever made in my life.
You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
giving a 30 min presentation still drunk is like giving birth, upside down in a pit of snakes while being on fire.
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
She bought a fucking hedgehog. And that's just the tip of the crazy iceberg.
The night started going down hill when she shot the cashier in the face with the confetti gun we bought at 711.
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
LOOK AT MY HAIR, DOES THIS LOOK LIKE THE HAIR OF A PERSON WHO HAS HER LIFE TOGETHER?
I'm going to stop at grocery on the way home. I'm CRAVING wine from a sippy cup. We have neither wine nor sippy cups.
So i know i said I'm turning over a new leaf, but i met a guy with a dick piercing. I have to sleep with him. For science.
Tell me again why we had to Facebook stalk your therapist?
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
Randomize
