Thats about the time I should have known you would run around naked and try to make out with my sleeping mother
I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
drunk enough to think that masterbating in the pool is an awesome idea
She hadn't heard about the oil spill. She gave dumb blondes a whole new standard to aim for. I did her anyway...but that isn't the point.
She started acting like she was actually a deaf person...so I went along with it and acted like her interpreter. I don't think anyone bought it.
Some dude gave me a questioning look as I came out of the women's toilet. I just responded 'blowjob' and he understood, then shook my hand.
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
When i said i was brazilian i swear to god he started to tear up
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
I was so high I just stared at the papa john's app on my phone and cried
i like beer, sex, and cooking. what more can he want?
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
Randomize
