wait, did i just see you litter out your window??
umm, i have a hybrid. it cancels out.
he puts the penis in happiness.
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
I remember sitting there at the toilet, bleeding everywhere and thinking, "I walked from my bedroom to here. What happened?"
In all honesty of all my sexual conquests, his dick is probably my proudest moment.
Went to the strip club with my aunt. Do you know how hard it is to be a pervert in front of your female family members?
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
I blacked out after you got about 8 goldfish out of the tank and put them in your pockets. We're not allowed back. It was a sucky Walmart anyway...
You went full blown lifeguard... You wouldn't let me sleep until I was in the safety position, so I wouldn't die in my sleep...
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
Well my normal tinder strategy of "Will I have sex with her when I'm sober" has been paying off
What was I even doing in 2010?! I feel like that's a question I should be able to type into the Facebook Search bar
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