I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
You had a beer at 10:30 this morning?
Ya, I didn't have any Tylenol.
if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
Di me a solid and hit me with your car.
For the amount I put out, I should be going on way more dates.
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
I'm buying eyelash glue, salt, and limes. We know how tonight is ending.
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
For Halloween this year I'm going to paint myself in gold, wear a golden toga and sash saying " cunt goddess"
I needed 3am water. Not 3am shots of rum.
I'm still waiting for God to smite you for impersonating a decent human being.
Why are your pants in the freezer?
Yes please. My parents would fucking love him and I'd love fucking him. That's a win-win if I've ever seen one.
I need an outfit that says "thanks for hiring me" but also says "i want dick in my mouth".
Randomize
