so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
I think need to divide my DVD collection into "movies I've seen" and "movies I've only seen during sex"
Need to stop getting stoned with this chick, I keep waking up covered in pizza sauce
then they caught me trying to hide the turtle in the fridge
you just kept saying 'take out my tanks' and tell the cab driver to go slower, i have no idea what you were talking about but i'm glad you had fun.
I have your dog in a headlock. Se wants my mushrooms.
The bouncers kicked us out around 3 so we went to the grocery store flasks in hand and asked them to turn up their music...
For when you/if you wake up tomorrow.. You broke 4 of the bar's glasses tonight and I am currently watching you as you ride the broom around the bar instead of cleaning up your mess. I am no longer able to come up with excuses for you.
I'm so hungover that if we go to panera, I'll probably get a bread bowl to throw up in.
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
I put on pants and a bra for you and you never showed up. There is no forgiveness for that.
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
New life goal: fuck in the shopping cart
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