What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
Walk of Shame. In a state park.
my dad just beat the shit out of me cuz i blew my nose on one of my dirty t shirts and he saw it and thought it was cum.
I googled "I hate my uterus" just to make sure I wasn't the only one.
college drinking is stealing all my money, thank god planned parenthood is somewhat free
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
Tonight was the second time that I've pretended like English was my 2nd language to avoid conversation w a creeper.
michael burned off one of his eyebrows making a pizza so he had to shave off the other one to make it look even. it doesn't look right, but I'd still bang him.
I'm still drunk. I put on workout clothes this morning and just puked in my bathroom. That's the same as going to the gym, right?
I'm pretty sure I said "this might be the last time I'm in here" but then I took his pants off so that's a mixed message
Weird, Jen didn't know mixers were solely for coloring purposes. Don't call me an alcoholic because you're uneducated
Snow days are when you really appreciate that your neighbor is on your bang roster.
This is me trying to take a picture to send to grandma. At 4. We were trying to look sober.
I'm still questioning who dropped me off last night. So successful wedding?
My sister can't give you a handjob and us still be bros.
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