I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
You were sitting at the bus stop holding hands with some Polish girl you just met, who was just as drunk as you were, and you kept trying to light your Kit Kat and smoke it.
The dry cleaners wouldn't even take our clothes. That's how bad of a night it was.
Grilled cheese and whiskey for lunch is why i should NEVER be a housewife.
Fuck going to see The Hunger Games tonight. The only thing I'm hungry for is some dick. Let's go to the bar.
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
theres 2 cans of open Campbell's soup on the counter and a note that says "guess which one is puke" ... want lunch?
THIS IS A FLATMATE WARNING! The white powder next to sink is washing powder I spilled and is not meant for human comsumption. I repeat- do not digest, snort or smoke the white powder next to the sink!!!!
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
You FaceTimed me at three in the morning while you were peeing. Your eyes were glazed over and you showed me your bellybutton.
You know you need to get it together when a frat guy wakes you up and says you need to go to class
His face matches his life choices. Both are train wrecks.
Im blaming it on six shots of Jack, loneliness and a chemical imbalance. That's the best I can think of...
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
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