Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
You know the @ sign on twitter? i wish there was one of those in real life so that the smokin' hot guy at the bar would know the slutty unbuttoning of my shirt was directed @ him, not @ his friend who looks like Mickey Rourke post-face melting
She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
Just woke up in bed, AC on high, with a fresh pack of smokes, an unopened pint of vodka, and a bag w a beef patty w cheese in it. I think my roommate's like the toothfairy or something. Or that was way more Xanax than I needed.
We stole a cat. That is all you need to know.
come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
You should be glad you didn't come with last night. I watched pirate porn for the first time in my life as the 9th wheel.
So you'd go straight for a fat chick with cheese on her tits?
Yes.
She is 6 months pregnant and gets more action at bars than I do.
Hahahahahha. You saved a homeless man. You're actually the mother Teresa of skanks.
I knew how blacked out you were when you started doing that thing where you dance around and call yourself the Black Swan.
Pray for me.. I'm like the lonely vagina in a sea of sworming dicks
I don't wanna see it, I don't wanna touch it, I just want it in me.
Randomize
