Would you feel weird if I asked out ___?
You dont call on our son's bday but you want to know if I'll give you permission to date my best friend?
So...no?`
omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
No, I was feeling sad because all of the other girls were like model-skinny. But then I remembered that I had big boobs and went to hit on their boyfriends.
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
One of my friends found 6 bags of gummy bears on the roof. He lives a building over. Apparently even hammered you still have quite an arm
How do you get mayonnaise out of... well jesus it's everywhere, let's start with carpets
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
I don't think we had sex because when I woke up he was still wearing the chicken suit.
He fucked me so hard I had an asthma attack. I'm like the sickly poster child for celibacy.
If you hear a sad honk in the wind it is me.
Sorry that I was such a monster last night. It was the drugs, I promise.
I'm abstinent now
Oh, is this one of the times when you're serious?
I got a charlie horse in my ass while masturbating. We are never been going to that boot camp again.
Tell me why I woke up with your dads construction shirt on, nothing else, and had jelly donuts with a note from a girl named cathryn that said "we had a kinky night with peanut butter". p.s. Im by the layin by the lawnmower
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
Randomize
