hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
We still need to grow old, buy a house, and drink 40's while wearing old people sunglasses, staring at the young studs mowing our lawn.
Guess who just screamed "Everything happens for a reason!!" in the abortion clinic. This girl.
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
how did my horoscope know i was too hungover to operate a stove.
I had a moment while I was smoking where I was looking at these palm trees and I knew how dr Seuss came up with his characters.
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
You have my approval. I will dance and throw skittles at your funeral.
All you kept saying was, " Barack fucking Obama. FUCK Michelle" and then you motorboated me.
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
I heard from the downstairs bathroom "WHY CAN'T I WIPE MY ASS IN PEACE!" and a pisscrate of glass bottles breaking
I think it's time for tequila and I to go our separate ways
We are never doing shots of gin. Never again.
I'm pretty sure that's exactly what we're doing.
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