hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
Dude, she uses Old Spice. It smelled like I was eating out my grandfather.
We had phone sex and he came in his sink. i will never eat off one of his plates again
We sold so many girl scout cookies when we were little. What went wrong?
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
You do realize how pathetic it is when the woman who does your bikini waxes has seen your vagina more than I have
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
I was just doing the math on how much beer we need for the houseboat. in doing so, I came to the conclusion that we need to open a beer distributor business.
Not entirely sure how I got drunk off 2 mimosas but here I am
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
I haven’t taken my socks off in over 36 hours. I should add that to my bumble profile.
Bring shot glasses to the final. Don't ask questions.
She looked like a cross between Jesus and John Lennon. So I fucked her. I feel majestic and powerful.
Im getting out of handcuffs then i'll give you a call
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