We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
We found your brother, passed out, floating in our pool, with a bottle, on a blow up mattress. How did he mange to walk 2 blocks and get into our backyard?
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
I can feel the alcohol in my calves
When the cops come you probably shouldn't be poking cars with a stick.
Sometimes I envy you, when I'm not praying for your soul.
I keep getting the feeling him and his friends are hilarious and we should drink whiskey together forever
My card got declined when I tried to buy dippin dots at 2 am, the lady gave them to me for free because "I looked like I needed them."
I wouldn't know what to do. You never really mentally prepare for a cactus getting thrown at your face.
I can't believe I'm coordinating a threesome at work. My productivity is at an all time low.
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
I think every girl deserves a pregnancy scare. Because then it just feels like such a priviledge to be bleeding out of the vagina.
I legit just did a jig towards my box of tampons.
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
Randomize
