i can't wait to kiss dudes with my vampire teeth in.
I actually had to roll up my long sleeves to masturbate. I hate the winter
they found her hiding behind the couch trying to feed a cabbage patch doll a bottle of tequila. please tell me she's on birth control.
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
It's ok that you're screwing someone else while trying to get back with me, I'm banging three girls while I ignore you.
Only I could run tino my father in law while looking at condoms at Rite Aid. At 730 on a Thursday morning. I'm in trouble.
Things I have learned since the start of my first college spring break: do not fart in an enclosed space (such as a shower stall) when hungover. You will throw up. More lessons to follow as week continues.
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
We were high as balls fucking in the back seat when we saw the blue lights. He's like, "I got this" and walked over butt ass naked and goes, "Sorry dude, we're just banging" and the cop apologized for disturbing us and drove off.
i chased my gummy vitamins with cold bacon, never say I don't take care of myself
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
If you shit your pants and not say anything about it right before we have sex one more time I'm dumping you.
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