Im at strip club and am horny
when a 14 year old is judging you, you know you've had too much to drink
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
Somebody left a mini pitcher in the bathroom. Think its safe?
I'm not judging you... I'm judging our friendship
Sorry I never showed up last night. It was between spending time with you and our freinds or having violent multiple orgasims. I chose the low road.
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
I just wanna go somewhere and not be judged for wearing spandex shorts that make my ass look like a slice of fucking heaven. Is that so much to ask??
The people at subway are so judgy when you stop to get a sandwhich on your walk of shame
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
I'm pretty sure that's why we have such good sex because we are secretly trying to kill each other
I swear to god if you eat that last piece of pie while I'm gone I will never speak to you again. I'm so serious.
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
OH MY GOD YOU GUYS I JUST FOUND OUT I HAD PHONE SEX THE OTHER NIGHT
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
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