fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
i just ate something from under my fingernail. i dont know what it was, but it tasted half decent
Did we use protection last night?
Um, no...keep in touch, okay?
he texted me at 1 in the morning to ask if i wanted to come over and play in the snow with him
at least he gets points for a creative booty call
Do they take checks?
Did you really just ask me if you could write a check for a DRUG DEAL?
got woken up at 7:30 by a drunk girl asking me where she was... apparently she slept on my futon
she was in a cheetah costume
I think I dropped my cock ring in your back yard
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
Go christen that room with your naked body.
This couch is so comfortable I can tell if it's like a waterbed or I pissed myself
I woke up with my shoes still on and my pants around my ankles cause I couldn't get them over my shoes
My poor liver. I drank enough on NYE to sustain an alcohol addiction for the entirety of 2015.
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
DUDE NEVER CALL THE COPS BACK
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
Randomize
