So I feel really bad about last night...can i give you a blow job and we call it even?
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
Found a 10-can wizard staff hidden in our closet. Did we cut someone off?
That's yours. We cut you off.
I think I just wrote a poem about your penis but it was totally unintentional.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I actually cannot wait for your visit. I miss people who make me look like the virgin mary in comparison.
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
Right now, there's some ten year old kid getting ready to go outside and play basketball. He will soon find out his basketball hoop was no match for my car.
Swish.
Did I mention I hooked up with another country star? I think I need some sort of trophy for each time, yah know? Or like a sash and I win a badge or patch for each person. Like a slutty Girl Scout.
Would it be playing god to put spaghetti on my pizza?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Car is still out of commission. Looks like it's Grape Nuts and scotch for dinner.
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
The sex was so good I feel like I could run a triathlon, hit big at the casino, and defeat ISIS.
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
Bra is off & I'm snuggled in a pizza. Adulting is good.
Dude chill patience is a virtue.
WHY DOES PATIENCE HAVE TO BE A VIRTUE, WHY CAN'T HURRY THE FUCK UP BE A VIRTUE?
Randomize