This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
Actions speak louder than pants.
We left the bar in 2 bicycle cabs. It cost thirty bucks and they took us to the wrong hotel. When we finally made it to the right one we ended up in a room with three randos from alaska. Jammed out with them for like an hour. Those inuits are good guitar players
I probably looked like a mental patient. I had my IV in one hand and cup of pee in the other, swaying around with a dazed grin on my face. I love vicodin.
I have a new favorite bar game. It's called, get dressed up and go drinking alone then make up random stories of why you are alone to look less like an alc
Got stoned and went to Walmart. For some reason a preacher walked up and asked if I knew the lord so I just yelled "I CAN FEEL HIM IN MY VIENS" at the top of my lungs. he left after that.
Send me a pic of your kids to remind me why I have morals.
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
Can we go to the gas station to get cigarettes before we get drunk. It's hard enough to say Marlboro sober.
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
Get over here asap there are three naked girls two bottles of whiskey and only one of me
Hey so I got my period
Thank god I wasn't ready to deal with sober you for 9 months
Just because you can't have him, doesn't mean you can have his brother.
What about the best friend?
Randomize
