i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
How do you get a 7 on a pregnancy test?
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
There is not greater feeling than lying to your boss and leaving work to shit in the comfort of your own home
EMERGENCY FRIEND CRISIS: WE HAVE TOO MUCH WHISKEY. ABORT HANGING OUT WITH MELISSA, RECOMMEND TO HANG OUT WITH OUR WHISKEY INSTEAD
all I've ever wanted was a guy with twelve cats who will tie me up in bed
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
I'm so high. I'm going to need directions to get home.
Why is there multiple peanut butter and toasts stuck to the fridge door?
Remind me to never do anything where hiding something in my butt is the best course of action
He’s over 6 feet has amazing posture and went to Harvard and has an awesome job and a great dick and loves Jesus and is an organ donor
Is this the guy you have listed as free food in your phone
Noooo he’s listed as free food #5
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