I feel like i just miscarried Jesus's baby...
You go to school with some of the ugliest girls I've ever seen... How are you not getting laid?
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
It's a line of coke at 10 a.m. kind of Saturday. Don't be a pussy about life.
The only reason anyone found out he threw up is because everyone heard it sizzle the bonfire out.
Edward fifth and chaser hands
some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed.
I woke up to a shot of jager next to my face. I felt bad for it so i drank it
I almost bumped into a man wrapped only in a blanket at 10 am
I came in and I guess my parents didn't hear me. My dad just said "Don't be lazy, RIDE IT." to my mom. Never coming home again.
He smells like ham and a lifetime of poor choices
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
Almost gave the delivery guy a 34 dollar tip. That high
I was trying to be good but he showed up with dinner and wine and I exploded. Like a bomb. A dirty, sexy bomb
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