So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
apparently it's not kosher to shit in a litter box when there's a line for the bathroom
You were hopping up and down because you wanted only his strongest sperms to make it to the egg.
Darwin at his finest.
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
What happened to "I wouldnt even touch her with a ten foot pole"?
Her vagina devoured it.
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
when you greet her, try not to lead with "this night will end with you on top of me". first impressions, bro.
You were so drunk you decided to go out of the car window instead of using the door, once you realized what you had just done you said fuck it and went back in through the window
DRAW HIM A PICTURE OF SOME FUCING AWESOME THING. LIKE A UNICORN OR SOME SHIT. FANTASTIC.
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
Def went to work still drunk... the only comment i got was good to see you drinking more water...
Yeeah, I think a threesome is one of those wedding presents you can't register for at Bed Bath And Beyond..
Never going back to jail again. Only time in my life I've ever had a wet dream about jerking it...
My parents are being so annoying about my colon.
Randomize
