wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
maybe i would like her more if 99% of her sentences didn't start with "yesterday when i was reading twilight..."
When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
A little light bondage fun never hurt anybody (erotic asphyxiation excluded). Car batteries attached to reproductive organs have.
I need a "closed for the season, thanks for a great summer" sign for my vagina
I'm too socially awkward and sexually frustrated to get through this evening sober.
He sent me a pic stitch collage of all the tit pics I had sexted him this month. It was so sweet!
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
Dude, tumbleweeds have been rolling through my bed lately. This is my dryest dry spell since I was married.
Just leave a note saying "riding dick see you in the mornig"
Listen all we did was not even pretend we aren’t each other’s type and live together and constantly encourage each other to get laid for 6 months.
Idk how it devolved into us fucking.
im just letting you know I walked in on you with four different guys last night. a. you were all naked. b. they're all roommates
On the good side I got hit on by a cute college guy. But the bad side was having sex in a frat house for first time in 9 years
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