Fuck. I have a girl here waiting on me in my room! I told her I was going to get a drink of water... I'm in the bathroom taking a dump... I have mudd butt bad... There's NO toilet paper!!
her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
legit been throwing up since 7am. told my parents the two bowls of puke in my dorm were soup
all nice guys are gay and all hot ones are assholes
You're fat. Stop making excuses
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
You were jumping on the trampoline and screaming that you couldn't feel the fire.
For public speaking we have to bring an object that describes us to class. Can't decide if I wanna bring a flask or a shot glass.
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
I just want it to be said that I had sex in my Belle dress last night. Classy motherfucker.
We're doing a team debriefing of Saturday night in group text right now. As 75% of the female presence at that party we saw some shit.
Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip
We will just distract him with tacos and porn.
Randomize
