why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
I wish my mouth had a period so that could be my excuse on those days I don't feel like giving head
I've realized that you're the only friend i can rely on to drink with me any given day. i thank you for that.
Just got cockblocked by coyotes. This would happen to me.
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
the 5 D's of Dodgeball literally just saved my life
I'm touching everything in your apartment with my penis.
Just sold our expired ticket for a free night of bowling to a drunk guy downtown for 50 bucks. Ill buy beer on my way home
This is the third time this month a guy I’m not dating has dumped me. How is this even possible???
aloe plants are like gummy bears with an exoskeleton, but with healing powers instead of deliciousness.
are you on the drugs???
Oh my god, my vagina is cursed. He's cursed my vagina so that no one but him can maintain a boner around me. I'm sure of it.
Randomize
