no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
its good she wears the same dress to all the weddings so we can track how fat she's really gotten
so glad i banged her when she was skinny
you kept yelling at her to "show me your genitals" until the bouncers told us to leave...at which point you showed them YOUR genitals...
please don't ever take me to a strip club again...
When the cops came you just told them you'd go to your time out corner.
Cognac is not meant to be taken in shots. I just wanted you to know the desperation of last night.
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
Dude. Some drunk chick just put an Aussie hat on me and was screaming at me in German. Her friends had to drag her away. Point being, I now have a cool hat.
Chuck job is nothing more than to be my dick stand when I'm too drunk to hold it while pissing
Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
He told me I look like a librarian today. I hope that means he has a librarian fetish or something
Disregard. He says he said I look "agrarian" today and just proceeded to compare me to Mumford and Sons. Fuck it, I'm going home and drinking
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
Well the other day she asked me how often I jerk off. So I guess things are getting semi-serious
Randomize
