Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
where am i from again
I just made friends with the guy at the coffee shop in borders. And by that I mean he stared at me until I was uncomfortable and left.
yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
There's a fried egg and an empty bottle of reddiwhip in the parking lot. Did you have fun last night?
Let's paint friendship bongs
We all make mistakes. Just lock them up deep down inside your mind so they can surface as weird sexual fantasies it takes your therapist years to decipher when your 40
Just tell your mom you have to go somewhere half naked with a strange man. She'll understand
Bless her heart. Her stupid, drunk, adderall-ed heart.
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
Momentum is force x velocity. So therefore velocity is 0 - hammered, and force is ur legs locked up and ur face hits the ground.
I felt paralized they just wouldnt move. We need segways when were drunk cuz if we start to fall forward they well take off and save the fall.
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
He heard our neighbor’s vibrator through the wall, knocked on her door and now they’re doing it
The blonde?!? That’s just unfair! His penis already has a fairy tale existence
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