I bet when she looks at herself in the mirror she wishes brown paper bags were in fashion.
Masturbating after my cheeseburger. It's unavoidable.
Just threw up in a trash can by the ATM. Then pulled out money for weed.
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
he said he has something really important to tell me but isn't ready yet. It's either that he loves me or has herpes
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
You were sitting on the filthy kitchen floor eating a packet of grated cheese, and you were crying because you couldn't find any cheese.. I'd say our party was a success.
You're obviously not trying hard enough. GET LAID. Kittens die for less.
Touche salesman.
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
I am officially now FB friends with my arresting officer.
I peed sitting down because I knew standing was a lost cause
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
My conscious state is steadily increasing towards drunkenness.
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
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