My cat gives me a boner
my love horoscope just told me to "say it in frosting" should i take this literally?? i think yes.
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
Just did a keg stand the dropped my phone in the toilet. Sorry for partying.
You did a keg stand on the toilet?!
Stolen hampster on my tits. Don't tell me I don't know how to party.
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
direct quote from andrew "you know i can't hear when i drink whiskey"
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
If you can handle my post-party look you da real MVP
Like who needs a job and family when you can get drunk for free with strippers?
I'm getting paid to get fucked up. How much better could this get?
Ah Christ I think I've reached the single life mentality 100%. I just inquired a photographer about a photo shoot with my dog.
The guy in the cage next to me is having phone sex. His girlfriend is in College Library. Why is my life ridiculous.
It's official we're now working from home permanently. I'm getting paid to have sex and sandwiches. I hit the lottery.
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