i swear i just saw perry the platypus. the fuck dude. i shouldnt even know who that is
I just saw the host of Singled Out do standup. Holy shit 1995.
So my prents justed posted "DO NOT DISTURB" on facebook and i just heard their door shut and lock...I'm leaving
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
he has a knack for choosing the worst time to masturbate
She said I came to for a minute, shouted IHOP!! and then shook my head and said no before passing out again
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
All three of them were helicoptering their dicks to persuade me to take my thong off
I would say I'm the man in the relationship but I'm cuddled on the couch eating cake mix and water.
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
That moment when you're in a room with 3 guys and know how big their dicks are. Then you are married to the one with the smallest dick.
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
I'm so gassy and it's your fault.
Randomize
