PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
new number. flushed my phone last night when i puked, made B help me look for it for 2 hours.
I just found ouut you can get a DUI in a kayak. Fuck.
She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
He said he got laid, but you and i both know he was too high to leave his house.
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
We jumped on a random trolley because total strangers offered us free vodka. We're not even on the route map as far as I can tell. I see now how those people died in "Hostel"... we deserve whatever happens to us tonight.
You went full blown lifeguard... You wouldn't let me sleep until I was in the safety position, so I wouldn't die in my sleep...
It's important to establish I slept with her BEFORE we officially became cousins-in-law.
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
He made me tacos after the sex. Best date ever!
Nothing like introducing yourself to your high school boyfriend's wife as "the girl who took his virginity"
I honestly don't understand how your night went from singing a touching rendition of Africa to an angry political rant to low key trying to find a frat boy to bang to doing dishes to yoga
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
Randomize
