but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
my mom just texted me to let me know that Hooters is hiring
i wish my mom had big dreams like that for me
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
Mega depressed bro. Had the greatest sex with the hottest girl I've ever seen and in the AM she gave me that look I've given dozens of times. I'm her drunken fat chick fuck
The US State Dept doesn't need to know I'm a high strung drunken whore.
Drinking Patron always ends with me puking or receiving anal. So make your move when I start ordering it.
I genuinely attribute some of my blowjob skills to playing saxophone in highschool
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
I'm sorry that running around town like a frenetic wombat trying to find you KY jelly isn't good enough for you.
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
He accepted my bet of 5 bucks to bike home completely naked. Never got asked about the 5 bucks, guess he enjoyed it too much
I still have that dildo-suction bruise on my forehead and this sweater STILL smells like my Christmas Eve vomit.
I'm too drunk to make ramen. What the fuck is this.
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
Randomize
