____ banged a stripper...well technically she's now a hooker...
you ended the night by relentlessly sucking on my hips bone and hand demanding milk. you said it was because you were a tiger
I really think my ability to vom without making noise mmight be my most useful talent
LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We sold so many girl scout cookies when we were little. What went wrong?
You dont realize corn stalks will cut until you run from the cops through a corn field.
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
Would it be tacky of me to tell the two girls I just found out he's been sleeping with on the side that I've been having gay sex with him all semester?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
I broke a glass at the bar and ended up with blood on my forehead. I apparently kept screaming BLOOD like the little boy in that YouTube video.
I didn't want to hook up with him so I just jumped out of bed, yelled "I don't even believe in god!" and ran out of the room
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
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